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"Cehennem kadar dünyanız var ve bana burada bir yer yok.."// Leon Felipe





1918 yılında Almanlar, Marksistler, Yahudiler ve öteki hainlerin ihanetine uğradıklarına inanıyorlardı. Bir kuşak bunun üstünde doğdu, kustu, kan revan içinde kaldı ve sustu.
1980 yılında bir kuşak doğmadan kürtaj edildi ülkemizde. Bu cenin zamanla rahmin dışında gelişti, serpildi, boy attı ve yüzlerce ayrıksı karakterde bir halka oluşturdu. Şimdi bu halka kırılıyor. Fantezi çarpıtmalarla, patolojik aktarımlarla birbirlerini dehşetli bir çocukluk buhranına sokuyorlar. Öfke en kuvvetli yanları ve bu “kaos” aslında içlerinde saklanan kocaman bir ayna ve elbette bu aynada sadece kendilerini görüyorlar.
“ Cehennem kadar dünyanız var ve bana burada bir yer yok” diye haykırıyordu bir yeni yetme.
      Küçük çocuklar bu ülkede ne zamandır tehdit edici kişiler olarak belirmeye başladılar? Kısa boylu devasa korku taciri tinerciler; migros ya da pahalı bir oyuncak dükkanında istediği alınmayınca babasının üstüne tüküren, ana avrat düz giden kısa boylu tüketim canavarları ne zamandır dillerini şaklata şaklata büyümeyi bekliyorlardı. Büyüdüler de. Şimdi anne imgesini ilkel bulan bu kalabalık yığını kendi şekline bürünüyor: suskun ve korkunç cahil sınır kişilik örgütleri oluştu.
            Bu sığ örgüt, yaşadığı kıyıda üstbeni olmadan varlığını iki rekat arasına iki kağıt arasına sarılmış esrara; iki şişe arası yazılan bir şiire; iki kredi kartı arasında sıkışan yeni bir plastiğe ve yeni elbiselere bürünerek sürdürüyor.
            Şarkıcının adı Ceza! Diğerlerininkiyse akılda kalıcı bile değil elbet lakin ya ceza!
Canı sıkkın bir çocuğun, mutsuzluğunu testereyle yüklendiği gece feryat edenler yokluklar arasında sıkışmış çıkar yol arayan öteki gençliğin; umudumuzu barındırdıklarımızın önlerini sesleriyle kapatıyorlar. Korku ve kuşku iki dünya savaşı arasına sıkışmış Kafka’nın dehşetinden ve nedeni saçma olan fakat sonucu dönüşümde de dava romanında da ölüm olan bir kabusa içlerinde taşıdıkları aynayla gidiyorlar.
            Halka kırıldığında, kendilerini gördükleri aynanın içinden çıkacaklar. Gidebilecekleri her yer var ve hiç bir yer yok. Taşınamaz mal gibi hissediyorlar kendilerini. Bundan kendilerini taşıyacak olan kiralık arabalara binecekler ve şoför hangi yolu arzu ederse o rotada devam ederek hesaplanmamış bir noktada taşıttan inecek ve taşıl hayatları metaforları, kürtaj olmuş bir kuşağın ceninden serpilmiş kayıp hali
Haykıracak “ Cehennem kadar yeriniz var dünyada bize bir yer yok mu”?
            Yanıtını işitemezlerse sorunun, kendileri bir cevap alacaklar.

Leon Felipe

Leon Felipe (Batu) anısına, defter arşivinden.
                                                                          



Independent Literature Journal (Portal) from Turkey

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Link:

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    ne sanıyoruz şu ömür denilen kısa sihri? 'o süzülmüş', seçilmiş aşk cevheri var ya, işte ölümsüz olarak kalacak olan ancak odur!

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